Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Skip.

Do I sound like a broken record yet? My writing is giving me trouble again. But I've decided to blog about it again now, because I'm hoping that one day I'll look back on this entry (and others like it) and smile fondly. 

I may be suffering some crazy writer's block right now, but one day I'll be published - whether traditionally, self-published, or just posting my stuff rigorously online again. It doesn't matter which. One day I'll get through this. 

My days usually start out something like this. 

I'll think about Dead Ringer - about all the planning I've done, all the planning I have yet to do, and that first chapter that I'm re-writing for the fourth time. I'll think about how I know exactly what's going to happen in that first chapter, and how I just need to get the words down. I'm of the firm belief that if I manage to get through the first chapter, things will get easier. 

But the moment I turn my computer on and start opening files, I change my mind. 

I look at Crash Into Me - at the fourth chapter that I'm re-writing for the third time. I think about how I hate the way it's going, but I can't figure out why. I think about how I just want to get it done so I can write the sequel and just be done with both of them. Every few days I consider putting it on hold again, or deleting it entirely. I could always start from scratch again. But would I ever end up doing that? Or would it stay as unfinished business? 

Failing at these two stories, I look to a third. 

I've been working on one tentatively titled It's a Brave New World. It's not something I intend for anybody to read - I basically took that characters that my friend Bailey and I created together, and it's a story based around them. But it's more like fan fiction to me than anything original. Bailey is the only one reading it, and I plan on keeping it that way. It's just something to keep me writing when my other stories aren't working for me. 

The Demons in Us is all over the place. I love the idea, but I hate my execution of it. It's another thing that I'm considering restarting. 

I have a handful of other ideas that keep crossing my mind, too. One of them is a better-thought-out re-write of my first Avenged Sevenfold fan fiction, Brompton Cocktail. Another has the working title Madison, and the loose idea I have is it being about a girl who escaped her kidnapper and is now having dreams about another trapped girl called Madison. The idea is more complicated than that, but I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for if I ever manage to write it. 

I keep reminding myself that I want to write fantasy, but I never seem to get any good ideas there. The Angel of Vengeance, Seasons, and all of my unnamed fantasy ideas are entirely on hold. Of a Different Kind needs to be completely reworked. 

So I suppose this entry has two purposes: firstly, to remind my future self that things got hard sometimes, but I got through it; and second, to assure you all that I am still in the game - it's just taking me longer than usual to make a move.

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