In the Days Before is finally here! It released on Wednesday, and I could not be happier to finally have it out in the world – out of my hands, no more work to be done on it, finished.
When I released Lost, I was nervous. How could I not be? It was my debut, my first time officially publishing anything, and you’re always nervous for your first time, right? When it finally came out, I felt relief at knowing that no release after that would ever be as nerve-wrecking. It would only be up from there. The worst was over with.
I was wrong.
In the week leading up to In the Days Before dropping, I was filled with anxiety. It wasn’t over anything in particular. Just a feeling of dread, of worry, of nervousness. It hadn’t occurred to me when I released my debut that I was doing so to a small audience. I had maybe 200 followers on Instagram, most of them friends or family or former Wattpad readers, and most of them were only following in support or had already read and enjoyed the novel. But I’ve learned a lot about marketing between then and now, and my following has grown to 700 on Instagram and just north of 1,000 on TikTok. Still small numbers in the grand scheme of thing, but much bigger than what I had before. And more than that, these people belong to the Bookish community. I wasn’t releasing to family and friends who would lie to spare my feelings. I was releasing to people who might tear my work apart if they didn’t like it. Hell, I’d even encouraged my ARC readers to be honest in their reviews. I welcome the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Of course, all of my anxiety was for nothing. By Thursday it had dissipated, and I was left feeling relieved. I’ve made a number of new friends in the past year who messaged or posted to wish me a happy release. Twenty of my ARC readers have left their ratings and/or reviews, and nothing has been below three stars (and there’s only one of those!). I might not be boasting big sales numbers, but I’m happy with the way things have gone.
And when I finally get to my next release and I’m feeling this way all over again, I hope this can be a reminder to myself that it’s just the Imposter Syndrome talking. Don’t let it win!
So what’s next?
Outside of novel writing, I’ll be working on putting out a more regular newsletter and resurrecting this blog. In terms of releases…well, we’ll have to wait and see.
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